I’ll try to keep this brief since I know you’re a busy man. I would like to apply, completely unsolicited, for the position of Official Justin Timberlake Blogger. You’ve got most of the social media world covered (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.), but your blogosphere presence is lacking. Allow me to explain to you why I am the ideal candidate for this as-yet-nonexistent position:
I got 99 problems but a blog ain’t one…
Translation: In addition to running this blog, I also maintain my personal website (complete with two additional blogs), work 3 part time jobs, and attend graduate school full time. Yet I still manage to have a life. And by “have a life,” I mean “write you this blog post.” So I figure adding one more act to my repertoire can’t hurt. Also, my schedule will be clearing up in the coming months as I prepare to burst forth from my academic cocoon and enter the “real world.”
On that sunny day
Didn’t know I’d see
Such a talented guy
On my TV
Seen those bright blue eyes
And heard that voice
So I became a fan
I didn’t have a choice
Translation: I’ve been a card-carrying fan for fifteen years. I think that as a fandom insider I would be an ideal candidate to blog for you because I can provide the fans with the blog content they want.
I was just writing that day aimlessly
You picked the perfect time to tour, JT.
Translation: I’m done with grad school (except for my thesis—but that shouldn’t be too hard to finish, right?) around the same that you happen to be touring. Coincidence? I think not.
My notebook contains a few more questionable re-writes of songs that probably should not be touched lyrically (or at least not by me), but, as I said, I’ll keep this letter short.
In conclusion: I eagerly await your reply, complete with job offer, starting salary, and benefits package. (I hope I’m not jumping the gun on this one…)